First steps...

Hi friends!

So, I’ve been in Cuernavaca now for just over three weeks. I haven’t written yet because I really haven’t done all that much outside of making this feel like my normal life. I have some observations that I’d like to share, but first I’ll talk about the fun stuff!

I’ve taken a couple days since I’ve been here exploring around Cuernavaca. I went to the Robert Brady museum, ate lunch near the Cathedral, and went to a movie and enjoyed a glass of wine. I spent another day at a small festival celebrating Día de Muertos, and exploring that neighborhood a bit. I have a strong extroverted tendency, so it’s been strange spending so much time by myself, but I’ve chatted with some people along the way. At the same time, it’s been so peaceful and wonderful to enjoy my days in this beautiful country, just soaking in the warm weather, views, and some nature. I can’t wait to explore more.

I’ve also been working on building a normal life here. I went to the market to buy produce and cooked for myself a few times. I took my clothes to the laundromat – then looked for a new laundromat when they forgot my clothes TWICE. I’ve been to a few coffee shops, and have gone to them to do some of my work prepping for my presentation (this is the thing that makes me feel the most normal). I’ve gone for a few runs (lots of hills…not used to it yet) and done yoga quite a bit. I even found a bar I like that serves a lot of Craft Beer, and made a few friends there! All this is making me feel like I could build a life here for a year or so, and I love that feeling!

Now for the deeper stuff😉…

The first is that I think I have never been so focused on my mental health. I have been in therapy for long periods at a time, and definitely worked on my mental health, but it was one thing among many others taking my focus. I only have myself to focus on right now, and that’s been both extremely helpful and difficult at the same time. There’s nowhere to hide from my emotions, so I’ve had to confront them right away. And to seek support from my immediate surroundings, I’ve had to try to express myself in Spanish, adding to the challenge. But it’s also been very helpful. I have journaled more in the last month than I have in my life, and I’m not finding myself confused about how I feel or distracted by other priorities in my life. It’s liberating! What’s been the hardest is just to be patient while things unfold. I am not a naturally patient person, so to remain calm and mindful while waiting for certain things to fall into place has been a challenge. I’ve oscillated between joy, anxiety, loneliness and isolation, love and warmth, independence, peace, support and encouragement, confidence, and pride. I’ve tried to be a sponge just soaking up as much information and experience as I can, while being mindful about how I’m feeling and adjusting to take care of my needs. And so far, I think it’s been going well! I feel VERY good about where I am right now, I’m learning to be patient, but to also ask for/take action to meet my needs.

One huge stressor for me was also the primary reason I came here when I did. I was invited to give a talk at a conference for university students. I had never given a professional talk before, and was feeling insecure professionally. In addition, the talk was to be in Spanish! Much of what I’ve focused on in the last three weeks was working on my presentation, talking with people that gave me suggestions about what to discuss, and feeling anxious about how it would go. I gave my talk on Tuesday this week, and it was amazing! My Spanish could have been better, I could have been more prepared in some areas, I could have done things differently. But I really loved it. I loved sharing my experience. I loved taking a risk and shining some light on a topic that these students didn’t know very much about. And I loved that I could communicate all that in Spanish. I definitely know some things I’d do differently next time, but it was a great experience. And I’m incredibly grateful for the invitation, and for my peers and friends that helped me succeed! I also attended the rest of the conference, and did my best to absorb everything, understand the other talks, and work on my comprehension. It was a wonderful and exhausting two days!

I’m also working again! I started working for Betterhelp, an online counseling platform, which allows users to access mental health services in a way that best fits into their lives. It feels so good to be working again! I didn’t realize how much I missed this in my life, but I think I was feeling like I was in a bubble before, first in Wisconsin and then here, while I was waiting for things to come together. But once they did, I got started with a few clients, then a few more, had a few live sessions, and now it’s beginning to feel normal again. Rebuilding a caseload is interesting, after I’ve been working so long with many of the same people. But I’m feeling more confident by the day, and adjusting to the differences in an online platform. I’d recommend it to colleagues if you’re looking to have some additional income and experience with this type of platform. I’d also recommend the services to any of you or your friends who feel like you might benefit from mental health services, but don’t want to/are not able to go to an office and hour a week.

Thank you for listening, and for giving me so much love and support. This already has been such a formative experience for me, and I know it will continue. I love you all so much, and am so grateful for every call, text, and email checking on me and making me feel like I can do this. Next week I’m headed to Florida for Sean and Robert’s wedding, and I couldn’t be more excited to see some friends!! And then return back to Cuernavaca to begin some travelling and real exploration. I can’t wait to see what the next few months bring, and I will definitely continue to update you along the way.

Also, I’m very sorry for the cold. I am not jealous😉

Love, Becky

PS...if anyone is good at formatting blog posts and can help me fix the layout of the pictures, hit me up!